Existential Examen -- Onward!

 For those who've been following, you'll have noticed I didn't post yesterday.  That's because when I got up, I hit the ground running.  There was lots to do:

• 
  I finished preparing all the income tax receipts for my little parish church -- created, printed, folded, enveloped, sealed, and some stamped for mailing.
• I finished the second baby sock of a pair and re-did the first one because I'd muffed the heel flap. (After 50+ years of knitting baby socks, you'd think...but !! 😆
• I did up my dishes.
• I shovelled the walks -- front, back, public -- again!
• I went to the Post Office and came home with goodies:
• Back-ordered hand-dyed flosses -- gifts from friends to go with the sampler they gave me for my birthday last fall; and
• GADGETS!

I rarely buy anything from Amazon (goodness knows, Jeff Bezos doesn't need my money!) but when you live In the Middle of Nowhere, sometimes...you just hafta.  Take a look at the photo above (click on it to see it in a larger size).  First, see those funky blue and pink things on the left?  Yeah, those!  Apparently their normal job is to keep wires -- especially iPod and other skinny ones -- from becoming a tangled mess...but the stitching world has discovered they're wonderful for holding excess fabric out of the way when using a hoop or frame. 

I thought I'd try them out, because the clips I used for the Growth Chart project last fall were heavy, and generally got in the way.  (Sorry; I don't have a photo of it with those clips attached.)  These little wire-holder thingies have magnetized ends, so they attach top and back -- and they're light as a feather.  They don't interfere with the work.  (Yes, they're silicone-coated...in a perfect world that would be more environmentally friendly but...sigh...)

Next, see the needles, threaded, just to the right of those thingies?  Those needles are sitting on a teensy-weensy magnet; there's another one just like it underneath.  I got a pack of 'em -- each magnet is just 5 mm (about 1/4 inch) in diameter.  Perfect as needle-minders without the weight of larger ones.  

Now, I'm not averse to fancy needle-minders -- the kind I've been given as gifts or that you might receive as a souvenir from a retreat or with a limited-edition project -- but I find they're too heavy on my light-weight linens...and I had a problem with the magnets on a couple of the ones that came out early in the game (i.e., over 15 years ago).  Those ones weren't coated.  They were the 'ferrous' kind, and one of 'em left a black mark on some linen a while back.  Blessedly, I got it out (!) but decided those needle-minders were best left clinging to the metal base of my stitching station set-up!

I was a happy camper as I headed into my evening stitching.  💗

On today's agenda: quilting up "Sunset", the Thimbleberries comfort quilt I made for a neighbour who's poorly.  He's been in hospital -- again -- and I'm not sure he's home yet, but now that my Art in the Park pieces are finished, I can get to work on quilting this up, binding it and taking it to his care-giver for him.

Pin-basted and ready to quilt!

Today I'm grateful for many things:

• The snow's stopped and milder weather is moving in so a daily walk will be more pleasant -- and no shovelling (for now!);
• I've lots to do to fill my days:
• I've a homily to write for Sunday;
• I've got that quilt to quilt up;
• I've got an Artist's Statement to write -- specifically about my Art in the Park Residency experience;
• I've got another pair of baby socks to knit (twins, remember!);
• SAQA Seminar is ON, and there's a Zoom chat -- with small groups -- this morning.  This year's topic: "Material Matters" -- about the materials used in the textile world, and how we can use them wisely, to protect the environment;
• I'm having dinner with a friend Sunday evening;
• I'm seeing my daughter for a brief visit next weekend; and
• There are new floss-tubes to watch while I stitch...

And so...this is the last of my daily 'Examen' posts.  That doesn't mean I won't do another here or there, but the habit's been formed in my mind and heart -- finding "what sparks joy" (as Ms. Kondo would say) every day, and expressing gratitude, whether in public or in my journal...or simply in my prayers.

I leave you with a link to Nina-Marie's Off the Wall Friday (she's quilting a top this weekend too!) and these thoughts:

• I'm grateful for the work of my hands; I'm grateful to have had this space in which to express myself for the last twenty years; 
• I'm grateful for the knitting/stitching/quilting/art/faith communities to which I belong and for the friends I've made there; 
• I'm grateful for my art and life adventures; 
• I'm grateful for the technology that connects us best when we use it for sharing thoughts, kindness, ideas and creativity; 
• I'm grateful for the 'gadgets' that help us in life and work -- 

and most of all, Gentle Readers -- I'm grateful for YOU!

Existential Examen (Day 12)

 I was up early this morning -- 4:45 a.m. or thereabouts -- so I got dressed, brewed some fresh coffee and went straight to my studio.  Before I knew it, two hours had gone by!  It was time for breakfast...basking in the glow of the "flow" that had absorbed me as I worked with fabric and thread.

Hour-glass blocks for R.T.

During that creative time, I assembled two more corner triangles for the "Rhododendron Trail" quilt I'm making -- Bonnie Hunter's 2021 Mystery project, now available for purchase as a PDF download.

I finished a seventh crumb block for a charity quilt -- part of my "Keep It Out of the Landfill" project.  Each one is 12 1/2" (unfinished); in the process, I continued putting crumbs together for more blocks, of course! 😉

I figured out how I wanted to finish a tiny line sampler, "'Q' is for Quilter", so I can have it ready for giving: I'm going to wrap it around stretched canvas!  So, I ironed it, applied fusible woven stablilizer, then fused a narrow batting to it. With the edges finished against fraying, it's ready for me to do the final mounting to the 4" x 12" canvas:

'Q' is for Quilter
Designer: Thea Dueck, The Victoria Sampler

And...

I zig-zagged a piece of linen for a new cross-stitch sampler.  It's a new month, so it's time for a new start!

In keeping with my focus in this "Examen" series, when I saw it, I couldn't resist purchasing it -- and I was delighted to discover this morning that I have all the "fancy" floss (hand-dyed cotton) called for -- but one, for which I found the perfect hand-dyed substitute.  All from stash!

Betty Sumner 1822
Reproduced by Red Barn Samplers

Can you figure out why this one speaks to me this month? 💗

 

Today, I am grateful for my cozy in-home studio, and all of the supplies it holds, just waiting for me to get to work.  I'm grateful, too, for talented quilt and stitch designers, whose creativity inspires mine.

Existential Examen (Day 10)

 On Saturday, I posted one of my "normal" posts: one about my artwork and other 'making', the kind of thing expected by most -- if not all -- of my Gentle Readers.

The post was entitled "It's All Over But the Paper-work!"  Today, that paper-work begins -- and so far, I'm on the right track.  I even found page of step-by-step instructions on how to use Google Drive.  I have a "page" in the Drive that was set up for me by the folks sponsoring the Art the Park Tour, and managed to find the documents they've already put in there.  I even managed to enter data in the folder marked "Labels" -- the title, media and price for each of my pieces.  

I now await instructions from the first Art in the Park curator as to how to arrange and upload my photos.

Meanwhile, there's other paper-work to do.  As Envelope Secretary for my parish church, I now need to begin creating income tax receipts for 2022 donors.  I took on this position a year ago...so this is my first go at that.  Not hard; just time-consuming.

Today, I'm grateful that at this stage in my life I am juggling fewer balls in the air, and have time -- time to organize each day, to prioritize my tasks by deadline (house work being at the bottom of the heap!).

Yes, I'm grateful for the gift of time.

Existential Examen - Day 7

 Today's the birthday of one of my very favourite people: Georgina Arabella Davison, born January 27, 1924.  Yep -- she'd be 99 today, but alas, she died July 10, 2004, at the age of 80.

She was my second cousin, my godmother, and her first name is mine too -- though as you well know, Gentle Readers, I never use it.  My DH and I shortened  "Georgina" to "Gina" when we named our daughter.

Until I came along -- or so my mother told me -- her family and friends all called her "Georgie".  I tried to say "Georgina" but it came out as "Georgie-Nina" and was forthwith shortened to "Nina".  That was her name, as far as our family was concerned. from that time forward.  

Nina had some trials in her life -- the first being that her beautiful mother, Olive Spearing Davison, died when Nina was 3 and her elder sister, Stella, only a few years older.  Their father, my Great-Uncle Fred, had no idea how to cope with two little girls, so they were farmed out to relatives -- first, as a pair, and later, separately.  Nina came to live with my mother's family -- Fred's older brother, Walter, his wife Margaret and their children, Bill and Ruth.  

Georgie & Stella

Ruth -- my mother -- was 8 years older -- but apparently took little Georgina under her wing, for they were like close sisters for the rest of their days.  Nina died less than six months after Mom.

When Mom remarried after my father died, Nina was her Maid of Honour and only attendant.  She was completely accepting of my step-father and my new siblings, and loved us all equally with a generous spirit and open heart.

As a child, Nina suffered a fall and split her upper lip; the scar never completely disappeared, but it added a certain charm to her warm smile.  Later, she developed scoliosis.  In those days (the early nineteen thirties, I think), the remedy was to take a piece of bone from one of her lower legs, and fasten it under the then-enlarging curvature in her spine.  This propped up her spine, and stopped further curvature, but there was enough curve that she had to wear specially tailored tops, dresses and jackets the rest of her life.  

As a stenographer, she rose up the ranks at Fisher Scientific, Inc., to become secretary to the President.  She had a seamstress who made sure she always looked her professional best, and Nina's taste added colour and style to Francoise's skills with the scissors and sewing machine.

Nina and me, ca 1955

When my sister and I were little, she would have Mom bring us into The City (Montreal) to see performances at the Children's Little Theatre in a grand hall in Westmount.  I remember seeing "Little Women" and "Red Shoes".  We were allowed to bring a friend, and sometimes our young cousin, Merry -- Nina's niece -- joined in the fun.

When I was nine or ten, I wanted a pen-pal -- something that was trending in the early sixties -- and Nina came to the rescue.  She had a pen-pal herself -- Brenda, in Yorkshire, UK -- whose mother was a teacher.  Sure enough, Mrs. D. could find me someone in her class to whom I could write, and a decades-long correspondence began.  My pen-pal and I have grown apart over the years; our adult selves are very different than our tween and teen selves -- but we still connect at birthdays, and Xmas.  Nina's pen-pal is in her late nineties now, and her health is failing, but I still keep in touch with her son (also at Xmas)...a chain of distant friendship that's now over 60 years old.

When I went off to university, Nina became my 'second mother'.  I loved to visit her stylish bed-sitter apartment on the Cote St. Luc Road, three doors up from bustling Decare Boulevard, and within walking distance of a delightful area full of interesting shops.  She would have me over for tea or for dinner.  Sometimes we went to St. George's at Windsor Station -- an imposing Anglican church -- on Sundays, where the services featured a boys' choir, complete with red robes and high, ruffled white collars.  After the service we'd walk up the block to Murray's Restaurant for lunch.

There is still abundant evidence of Nina in my life -- in the hand-painted plates and such that her mother created as a young woman; in my love of books, the theatre and classical music; in my understanding of how important it is to keep up to date with current events and world affairs; in old photo albums and autograph books; in photos of folks gathering outside the church the day I was married.  And of course, in my name...and my daughter's.

Today I am grateful for all that Nina gave me, gave us, her family, her many friends, her Fisher colleagues, her world.  As my Jewish in-laws would say, "May her memory be for a blessing."  Yes, indeed.

Existential Examen - Day 6

 The more research I'm doing about become more myself, and less who others think I should be -- even at this late stage in life! -- the more I'm becoming aware of the role creativity plays in this.  Not just for me; for each one of us.

Today, I'm grateful that each and every one of us has innate creativity, which we can choose to express -- or not -- and I am grateful that in choosing to express my particular creativity, I am learning to accept the opinions and perceptions of others as just that -- theirs, owned by them.  Moreover, ve-e-e-r-r-ry slowly, I'm learning that I can't control the perceptions and opinions of others.  

It's mind over matter.  As someone once quipped: "If I don't mind, it doesn't matter!"  😉

One corner of my creative space

A detail shot of what I'm currently working on:
Fallen Log (c) 2023

Existential Examen - Day 5

 Yesterday, I tried to repair a decades-old standing lamp.  The tri-lite hadn't worked well for some time, and its flickering was getting under my skin.  A few years ago I'd converted a table lamp from tri-lite to simple "on/off", and I figured I could do it again.

This time, it didn't go so well.  The challenge began when I discovered that the wiring wasn't marked re: which connection went where -- and I decided I could remember.  Not a great idea!

To add to the aggravation, the mechanism that was intended to hold the lampshade was attached below the socket and flopped around, getting in the way of the procedure.

I had to strip a bit more insulation from each wire because the exposed ends weren't long enough to go around the new connections.  That I managed...but...see the paragraph above.  When it came time to reconnect, I couldn't remember which was which!  I tried several combinations -- most of which failed to work.  The last one did it -- badly.  😖

In the end, I trashed the brittle, cracked lampshade, cut the cord from the base of the lamp, and took the entire mess out to the garage for later removal to the dump!

I moved my Daylite standing lamp into position, plugged it in -- et voila!  I have good light over my left shoulder for stitching, as well as for any other reason to have good light.

I don't know why I waited so long to find the simpler solution -- but today, I'm grateful for

• making the attempt to figure something out;
• accepting that what I wanted to do wasn't going to work;
• finding I had what I needed all along (a working lamp); and
• getting rid of the clutter of an old, failed item.

Now I can go forward in clean, clear light.

Ring the bells that still can ring; 

Forget your perfect offering;

There is a crack in everything; that's how the light gets in.

-- Leonard Cohen

Existential Examen - Day 4

 As part of trying to sort myself out this year, I've been participating in a variety of small groups online -- "chat" rather than Zoom, so I can visit at leisure, read and respond (if I want to).  Yesterday one of the posts was about rediscovering joy, and the practices the writer had incorporated into her life to do so.

I've been a long-time journaller, and have shared my delight in fabric, fibre, floss and gardening in these blog pages -- but happiness isn't the same as joy.  Dr. Brene Brown, in writing about the difference between the two in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, talks about the role of gratitude -- and how it's more than an attitude; it's a practice.

That was news to me.  Until I read that, I'd thought about the trend of keeping a "gratitude journal" as, well, trendy.  A fad.  Another self-help 'fashion' that wouldn't really amount to much.  

I was wrong.

Four days in to this series of posts, expressing gratitude in this arena, and I've already found nuggets of actual joy in my days -- such as the noisy parties the birds have been having in my ornamental fruit trees and around my evergreen shrubs, as they dine on whatever birdie goodies they can find.  

Yesterday morning, I just sat and watched.  I was so entranced that when the birds moved from view in my living room, I travelled down the hall to my bedroom to watch them there.  As I became absorbed in watching their birdie behaviour, I realized the feeling that arose.  It wasn't happiness; rather, it was happiness that gave way to delight that gave way to joy.

Today I am grateful for Dr. Brown's work, analysis and wisdom.  I am also grateful for the beauty and busyness of birds -- and I am grateful for the gradual return of joy to my life.

Thanksgiving

No...I'm not confused about which holiday this is.  :-)  It's just that it seems only fitting to go into a new calendar year with gratitude.  So... today I offer thanks

• For my Gentle Readers, which have doubled in number since last year, so I can no longer thank you individually -- but you know who you are!  Your comments, support and encouragement are a real boon to an artist living -- ahem -- in the boonies.

• For my friends and acquaintances -- over the 'net and 'up close and personal'.

• For my children, who continue to amaze me.

• For my hamlet-home, cozy in autumn and winter and glorious in spring and summer, a continual source of inspiration for my work.

• For the health, strength and joy with which to do that work.

• For enough to share and life to share it: both gifts to take me into this next year.

• For the Creator Who makes it all possible.

Now we are awake

and now we are come together

and now we are thanking the Lord.

This is easy,

for the Lord is everywhere.

He is in the water and the air,

He is in the very walls.

He is around us and in us.

He is the floor on which we kneel.

We make our songs for him

as sweet as we can

for his goodness,

and, lo, he steps into the song

and out of it, having blessed it,

having recognized our intention,

having awakened us, who thought we were awake,

a second time,

having married us to the air and water,

having lifted us in intensity,

having lowered us in beautiful amiability,

having given us

each other, 

and the weeds, dogs, cities, boats, dreams

that are the world.

- from Her Grave, Again - Part 7 - Matins

published in What Do We Know: Poems & Prose Poems

Mary Oliver, Da Capo Press, Cambridge, MA, USA 2002

Yes!

Thanks again to Robert Genn...