Monday, January 19, 2015

Feedback Arready!

So...I sent these photos to EB:

Rough Block #1 - how it *really* looks!

Rough Block #2 - how it might look when finished

And she -- quick, like a bunny! -- replied:
"I think this is a very strong start...great abstract design with the fence over the fields.  If it's not too late, I think I'd be tempted to keep the lines of  the fields straight so as to echo the fence lines...especially the top line...Also have a dark line at the top of the hills does pull them might consider removing  that line and straightening the top of  the hill both to push it back and give you more depth and also to pull the two sections (fields and fence) together.   At this stage, it's important not to think of things as they "really" are, but rather how the design is working.  
"Seeing it put together too, I wonder if it wouldn't be better without the two dark lines stretching into the corner on the right hand at the bottom.  without those the viewer can walk past the fence and towards the distant horizon.
"At this point it's good to think: what can I leave out?  And i think this piece would be stronger without those two lines and also without the wavy dark like at the top.   Then there would be a lovely quiet expansive feel to it.."

So...I made some adjustments (by finger pressing, etc. -- nothing permanent) and this is the result:

The "hills" have been flattened and the dark line at the top removed.  Also the two cross-bars from the fence (lower right corner).

She's right to a point; there is a quieter, more "expressive feel" about the scene.

Then I thought about an alternative:

The fencing on the lower right corner has broken down.  It's not  missing (as above) but it still allows the wanderer to "...walk past the fence and towards the distant horizon"...

What do you think?   I mean, with all due respect, EB is a Brit living in the U.S.  When I talk about the Canadian Prairie she might think "Saskatchewan"...when I'm thinking "rolling hills of Central Alberta".   

I can see leaving out the dark line between sky and ground (in the background) but to leave out the "roll" in the hills"?  And yet....and yet...EB just might have a point when she writes, "At this stage, it's important not to think of things as they 'really' are, but rather how the design is working."

I look forward to hearing from you!



elle said...

I think the hills show nicely with the curvy sections. I also like the photo that has no fencing in the bottom right. I had to go back and check the original photo though!

Jenny K. Lyon said...

I definitely think the first altered piece is stronger. The broken down fence just says too much. It's quietly contemplative in the first rendition. Really nice piece!

Wil said...

I see a whole series coming out of this one. Really think about this! EB is correct with the open gate, it draws the viewer in. And by using wavy lines in your whitish fabric you create rolling hills. Look at the greyish part at the right, the one on top of the lightly designed one, to me that looks like uneven ground, or a low hill.

Susan Sawatzky said...

How about using a lighter dark of a slightly different color?


Giddings Art said...

I agree that it is better without the dark line at the top but I really liked the "roll" in the hills. I also like the fence without the broken boards at the bottom. When they are there it draws the eye off the bottom of the piece. I think that leaving it off draws the eye back up to the hills. I think this is a great piece!