What Remains is Love

Yes, Gentle Readers, there will be sharing of what I've been working on -- for there's been quite a bit of that -- but it will come later today in a separate post.

You see, friends, tomorrow -- Saturday, August 9, 2025 -- marks the 19th anniversary of my husband Howard's death from Type 1 Diabetes.

But...it's more than that. Fifty years ago tomorrow we were married.  We were just months away from our twenty-third birthdays.  We were pen-pals in the ninth grade, lost touch, reconnected in October 1974 -- and just months later became life partners.

He had moved from his hometown of Vancouver, B.C., to take a job an 'operator' -- a behind-the-scenes producer -- at a popular rock radio station in Montreal, playing tunes like this one, which became "our song":

Sedaka is back, baby! 😉

St. John's parish - Est. 1826

We were married on a hot, breezy day in St. John's Anglican church in my hometown, Huntingdon, Quebec -- and not without some trepidation, because his family was Jewish, and weren't really happy about the entire situation.  

However, our priest was on top of it.  He took the service from the more contemporary Episcopalian prayer book (USA), and there was only the wedding ceremony -- no other sacraments.  Following his introduction to be 'comfortable' for the prayers, my parents set the example and all stayed standing.  Lightning did not strike, and we made a happy celebration out of the entire day.

During the signing of the documents with our witnesses, we had another favourite song played..."If" by David Gates:

We got by with a little help from our friends...

Clockwise from lower left:
Bridesmaid -- my friend Martha Reeve;
Maid of Honour -- my sister, Wendy Daniel;
me and Howard; 
Best Man -- Howard's friend, Larry Lond;
Groomsman -- our friend Wendell Siddall;
and Bridesmaid-- my friend Peg Simpson.

A year after our marriage, with political unrest and uncertainty in Montreal, we moved west to Alberta, setting in Calgary, where he had cousins and I had my sister.  There we raised our two children, and spent 30 happy years until his death.

The year before he died, we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary with a cruise up the inside passage from Vancouver, B.C. to Alaska and back. The remarkable service, "Dialysis at Sea" made this possible, for by then Howard had spent nearly a decade, three times a week, taking kidney dialysis treatments at the Foothills Hospital, near the University of Calgary.

When we landed again in Vancouver, his mother had a reunion of family and old friends at her apartment to celebrate all those years together.

It was really our last, best celebration...and our daughter created an album for us filled with memories from that trip.

A bit more than a year later, Howard was gone.

He was my biggest fan as I began my fledgling art quilt journey, and was truly the only person who knew me well -- and loved me anyway.  He is buried in a little rural cemetery outside of Huntingdon, founded by my great-great-grandfather's brothers, and I hope to visit there next year, on the 20th anniversary of his passing. 

I've lost touch with my friend Martha, and our friend Wendell is now a widower, but I see my sister often, and remain in touch a few times a year with Larry and his wife, Lydia.  As for my friend Peg, well -- we remain particularly close, even as we age.

Larry and Lydia will celebrate 50 years marriage in December this year, so I am mulling what to create as a special gift for them.

And so it goes.

Every anniversary -- being a double anniversary -- has been a challenge for me these last 19 years, but this year, the sweetness of those months and that day, a half-century ago, is more present than the sorrow of his loss.

Next year, the 20th since his death, I will go home to Quebec to visit Peg. We'll likely bunk in with my cousins in Huntingdon, and drive out to Hillside Cemetery to pay respects -- to all who have gone before, yes, but most especially to the man who stole my heart all those years ago, and blessed me with a most wonderful life and legacy.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." -- 1 Corinthians 13:13 

"What Remains is Love"
Black Bird Designs
Adapted by me,
in memory of Howard - 2022