Saturday, November 29, 2014

A Post from a Post from a Post

In my 'to read' blog list this morning was this post from my daughter.  I find it thoughtful and well-written, and I'm not saying that just because I'm her mom!

I too read about the "Like/No Like" experiment on Facebook some time ago and tried it -- for a week.  Even that brief effort was enough to make me wonder...especially about my need for approval, which seems to have ramped up in recent years. (One of the blessings of a loving spouse is fairly frequent exchanges of expressions of approval.  With DH gone, and the kids on their own, those are pretty sparse around here.  Pookie-cat just isn't of a mind to fill in the gap!)

My daughter writes -- and I quote:
I was intrigued.

I decided to take the same challenge.

Four months later, I have still not 'liked' a single post....
And she leaves us with this:
Is my need to know and be known just the tension that comes from living on one side of the screen?

Or is it more than that?

Since my own brief experiment with "no like", I've found I've made small changes in the way I respond to the comments of my FB friends and acquaintances.  First, I find myself pausing more often before I click "Like" -- or not.  Often, I choose not to click -- not because I don't like what's been shared, but because I sense that my response is inconsequential or not required, rather like the response to a rhetorical remark or question.

When I do choose to click "Like", I often comment as well -- responding with more than a nod and a smile, as it were.

And sometimes I find myself starting a comment...and then erasing it because I can't put into words on a screen/page what I'd say in person.  Sometimes what I'd say would come off as insensitive, sarcastic or down-right offensive without the body language that accompanies a face-to-face encounter.  Emoticons help, but they can't replace full bodily expression.

What about you?


Kit Lang said...

I did the experiment for about a month, and didn't find my feed changed significantly (I was still clicking on the links, even if I didn't like them); but I did find I was making more comments and short exchanges sometimes followed.

I've been trying to keep that up; and also have conversations with new "friends" rather than just accept the request and then wonder who the heck that person is when they show up with a comment in my feed weeks or months later.

Had one such conversation with an older lady who friended me yesterday and discovered we had much the same day job before she retired and talked a bit about our families. Now I'll have some sense of her when I see her in my feed, which is a more sensible way to conduct oneself on FB anyway. ;)8

elle said...

I like if I know the person and just want them to know I have been by. More often I comment when I have something to add. But I also will sometimes type something out and then I delete because it seems superflous. Sometimes it is just okay not to say something. :O